The Mistress : How Easy It Is

Do you know how easy it is to be the other woman? The side chick? I recently had a chance to view it in that perspective. Before anyone starts bashing me, I didn't do anything. Please read on.

Since last year, I've met one of my clan members face-to-face (clan as in Clash of Clans) when he asked me out for a game of pool. Thereafter, due to common interests, we hung out together quite frequently, almost everyday if he wasn't working. I didn't know he had a girlfriend at that point of time. Everytime I asked him, he denied and insists that he was single. Although I didn't have any feelings for him, I definitely do not want to come between anyone's boyfriend/husband.

He was outgoing, funny and I find it particularly easy talking to him about anything and everything. We went futsal, swimming, badminton, road trips, movies, clubs, bars and I absolutely loved the way he drove. I realised how alike we were. He is like the male version of me.

Fast-forward to when I found out he had a girlfriend. Because one of his friend said something which caught my attention. In which I gave him a last chance to confess or never speak to me again. Knowing how much I hate being lied to, he confessed because he didn't want to ruin our friendship.

From time to time, he would complain to me about his girlfriend.

"I worked late. I was tired, I was having a fever and she woke me up because I was snoring."

"She hated my grandmother. She complained about her and even argued with her."

"She was talking to other guys. How would I know if she was cheating?"

"She is complaining about my sister."

"Whenever we go out, she wants to go home and sleep early. I always had to send her home and then go back out."

"I really can't stand her mouth!"

Then I realised, how easy it was to manipulate their relationship. All I had to do was agree with whatever he said.

"She is so wicked! Doesn't she love you? And you were sick! How inconsiderate!"

"How disrespectful! Afterall, that is your grandmother! Even if she doesn't agree, she should have kept quiet."

"Sounds really dodgy. She shouldn't do that when she has a boyfriend. Are you invisible or what?"

"She should learn to give way to your sister since your sister is much younger. Shouldn't be so calculative."

"She doesn't give you face infront of your friends. That would probably make your friends think that you're scared of her, huh?"

It. Was. That. Easy.

I could have pointed a finger and he would just leave her.



But I didn't. Because I know how it felt to be on the other side. Whenever he complained about her, I would blame him instead. Because he wasn't giving her security. He wasn't spending time with her. Because he was selfish. Because he couldn't see what she was sacrificing. To the point that he stopped complaining about her to me.

When a relationship has passed the honeymoon phase, it will get comfortable, it will get boring. Because you've known so much about that person that you hardly ever have anything new to learn or to talk about. Everything feels like a routine. Every little thing she asks of you feels like a heavy burden.



Until that someone new comes along. Everything thing about your girlfriend becomes annoying, but you find it cute on that someone new. Everything is like a burden when it is for your girlfriend but you'd feel happy doing it for that someone new. When your girlfriend is angry, it pisses you off. When that someone new is angry, you try hard to make her smile. Seeing your girlfriend everyday is routine, but not seeing that someone new everyday makes you heart sick.

Well, people always say, "New is always better."

Until your girlfriend leaves. You will realised that your girlfriend WAS, and USED TO BE that someone new. Someone who is cute and you tried everything to make her smile everyday but over time, it got boring. Your girlfriend who sacrificed her time, her youth, her everything when she made you- her everything. You will realise that she was there when you had nothing to offer. And she was the one that will ever really love you.

Congratulations! You lost the only precious thing that money cannot buy- her love. No one will love you as much as she does. Congratulations on pursuing something new. Which will, in time, turn into a routine once again. Let me enlighten you, that someone new who accepted your pursues despite knowing you had a girlfriend, shows the kind of person she. And usually, she will not hesitate to upgrade to someone better. Someone, well, less boring.

 

Marriage: Are You Ready?

Recently, a very close friend of mine got married. 

It was really lovely and beautifully decorated, even the table arrangements were very thoughtful as it was close to the stage and we don't need to entertain strangers.

There was a lovely video of how they got engaged and their gorgeous wedding pictures. I am really happy for him. He was always so mischievous and cheeky in a playful way, it is great that he finally settled down. I wish him a long and happy marriage ahead!

But on a related note, back to the topic everyone always asks, Are You Ready For Marriage?

If you think that love is all you need for a marriage to work, trust me, you are being really naive. Because Marriage =/= Wedding. A wedding could be as grand as a palace ball but it does not mean that your marriage would last til death do you part.

Firstly, ask yourself, why would you want this? Why do you want to be married? 
- To be with the one you love for the rest of your life
- Because you love them
- Because you want to strengthen the relationship
- Family/peer pressure
- Age, it is just time to settle down
- You want to have a family

If your answer is anything but the last reason, then you may want to reconsider your choice. Why would a piece of paper stop you from being with the one you love? Does that mean without marriage, you can't be with them? If you expect that a piece of paper could change your life, then perhaps, you might want to reconsider the strength of your relationship.

If you want to marry, make sure that the choice is only because of both of you, not because your family wants it so. Because at the end of the day, it is you who would be spending your life with him/her.

With that said, a marriage is not ONLY about TWO persons in love. It also involves his/her family too. You can't turn your back from his/her family because they ARE your family now. And definitely, do not use age as an excuse to get married.

As we grow older, we tend to expedite the process of courtship, to dating, to marriage because the older you get, the harder it is to build a family. But, how well do you know your partner? Because of the expedited process, some may get married after 2-3 years of dating. In mere 2-3 years, and you have decided that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Do you really accept your significant other as they are? Or do you just hope he/she will change and adapt to the married life?

If all these still haven't helped in your decision-making, consider this:-
1. Accept your significant other, do not expect him to change for you
2. Go for a week long holiday in a foreign place, just the two of you... It will show how you work as a team, how to handle unexpected situations, how you resolve a problem together and what is it like living together. True colours will show.
3. Does your family like him/her? Does his/her family like you? If the answer is no to either one, take time to make things work, it will make your marriage easier in the future. No in-laws problem.
4. Are you willing to sacrifice anything from any part of you or your life? Could you sacrifice time to take care of your one month old baby while she get some rest? Would you be able to sacrifice buddy drinking/happy hour time?
5. Last but not least, can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person regardless of bad or good?

********************

With that said, those who are married, please know that marriage is not easy. It would always be more convenient to find an easy way out. But keep in mind, it was YOUR choice to spend YOUR life with the person YOU chose.

Always think from another person's shoes. It may not always be what it seems. You may think you are sacrificing everything but maybe your other half have been suffering in silence.

I WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY 2016 AHEAD!

Blogging on blackberry is horrible!

This sucks cause errors keeps popping up! I am blogging on my blackberry (not an iPhone user. Booooooo!!!! Yeah? Well, boo you too!!!)

Anyway, has been a horrible week for many of my friends. Relating to relationships and  whatnot. A very very dear friend of mine (she's like a little sister to me) had no experience in relationship whatsoever. I am torn between telling her the truth or protecting her. She's been having a horrible week. So, I hope everyone else is having a wonderful week.

P/S: Sorry for the previous post, I posted an image, but there were errors and I did not know about it   T^T

He makes me smile

Just wanted to share something that made me smile today.


When I first received it, I thought I misread it, so I re-read it a few times. But then, I couldn't believe my eyes. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Yet, my heart was beating like I ran a marathon. I feel light-headed. And I was out of breath.


It started when I was bragging about predicting the England - Italy Euro 2012 match, whereby I said Italy would stand a chance after 90 minutes with the penalty kicks (because Buffon is awesome like that! and I have proof that I said it BEFORE the match!). Anyway, he insisted that England was going to thrash Italy. So, after that match, I had to practice my bragging rights. 
*Italy won by 13-0 with the penalty kicks, by the way. =D*

Me : What did I say!!! What did I say??!! Hahahahaha!!!! In your face, yo!

(then I sent him this picture of a mini cooper with eye lashes parked right outside my office)

Me : Cute, huh?

Jae Yang's random-ness, as usual, left me speechless

I've never been called pretty. Attractive, yes. Cute, yes. But never pretty or gorgeous, and most definitely not a goddess. But what I liked most was, he made me feel like I was a crazy-in-love-high-school-girl once again. 

Heal Your Heart

Recently, I chatted with an Australian Asian girl. This basically what she told me.

"I was with this guy for more than a year. I loved him, but he cheated on me more than once. It was because he was insecure and needed recognition all the time. Finally, it was too much to take, so I ended it with him. But even after that, I still loved him. Even now. I'm not an ugly person, I think I look better than average. And there are guys who went after me. But I still couldn't forget him. I went out with a few guys, went partying and got drunk, and there was a guy who was really sweet to me. We went out for a while but I had to end it because... You know? I couldn't forget my ex, and that guy ended being very hurt."

What that girl had to go through with her cheating ex is really sad. But there is no excuse to use another person. Don't get me wrong, that girl is very nice and she admitted what she did was wrong. She tried to make it right.


When you choose to be with a person for the wrong reasons, not only you are running away from your problems, you are hurting another individual with your actions. At the same time, you do not realise that you are hurting yourself too. The past will haunt you, everything you do with that rebound will remind you of him/her. And the pain would always be there.


The only way to recover from previous relationship is to cry it out. Take all the time you need. Do the things you love. Go out with your friends. Splurge on yourself. 


Heal your heart. And when you are finally ready, you will be able to love freely. 

If you are brave enough to fall in Love

You are brave enough to let it go, when there is nothing left to hold on to...

What Are Words...?

What are words, if you don't really mean them? 

     What are promises, if you don't intend to keep them?

          What is love?

I guess most of you know this song. It is very touching and I have seen people posting this video on Facebook. But, I was surprised that many did not know the story behind the song. So, for those of you who did not know, here is the story:-

Chris Medina's fiancee met with a car accident 2 months before their wedding. She was brain damaged, and she was in a wheelchair (as seen on American Idol). If you have watched that season (Season 10 or Year 2011), he speaks of her with love regardless of her disabilities. That brings so much more meaning to the song (which he had written especially for her).

It is a simple song, yet you can feel so much love, so much sincerity in it. 

What Are Words - Chris Medina
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

Chris and Juliana 

(before her accident)

"LOVE is not finding someone to live with, It's finding someone you can't live without. Even during any hardship, LOVE will shine through."

Destiny - B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T

"If it is meant to be, they will always find their way back, because it is DESTINY... If they don't come back, then it is never meant to be in the first place"


WHAT UTTER BULLSHIT!


IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, this sentence is to cheat the other party into believing that they will EVENTUALLY be together because of destiny...


How many of you has let a person go, and got them back? 
How many couples in the world has ever let a person go and after a few years apart, through destiny, meet again and then live happily ever after?


Reality is, when you release a bird, you can expect that it will never come back. Agree?


I DO NOT BELIEVE in destiny, what I believe is that you have to go after what you wanted. You have to choose which path to take, you have to fight for it! NOT rely on whether or not it is "destiny".


Do you sit around and wait for a cow to shit gold bars for you because it is your destiny to be successful?
And when you realised that all you ever picked up from that cow is just dung and not gold bars, you blame that it isn't your destiny to be a millionaire?


"Rigggghhhhtttt..........."


Why don't I believe in destiny? 
-Because I refuse to believe that God would ever create a murderer, for example. The person is a murderer for the choices he made, not because God made his destiny so. Understand?


The same applies for relationships.
You don't just let it be. 
Or as the Chinese saying goes,"顺其自然" (Go with the flow)


So, if you ever, EVER let a person go, it is YOUR choice to make. 
If you refused to put in effort, to hold onto that special someone, or to fight for that someone, it is YOU to be blamed, NOT destiny. 

True story : R let the only girl he loved, leave. And all he feels for about 3 years, is remorse. Because the girl, is going to marry someone else. -Good luck, R! That's all I can say...

Way to go with the flow! -please note the sarcasm

Just because...

Just because I'm no longer with Max (I refuse to use the word "Single" because that word seems to give an impression that I'm "available" to be dated), I AM NOT AVAILABLE!!


If I said I will NOT suit you, I don't want you to wait and I don't want a relationship, 
it means I WILL NEVER BE WITH YOU!!!
It also means, DO NOT WAIT FOR ME!!! I DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP! I DO NOT WANT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS! EVER!


How much more blunt do you want me to be? 


Honestly, til now, though my pride doesn't allow me to admit, there's only ONE and ONLY ONE person who has my heart, I only have a heart and it belongs wholly and exclusively to someONE else. 

= Please understand that I respect you as a friend, and I do not want to insult or hurt you =
= I'm sorry that you are hurting now, but it is better to be clear now than when the wounds gets deeper =

Dump the whore

Does that sound familiar to you? From where I come from, guys always "comfort" their "bros" with that phrase; "Dump that whore, we'll find you A NEW ONE".(What? A new one freshly baked from the oven?)

Facts:
1. Guy who usually say that is either single, his girlfriend is ugly or his girlfriend don't freaking care about him except when he gives her money(she probably has a spare "ATM" elsewhere too)

2. Guys who usually say that, will forget "bros" when he finally gets a girlfriend, or when his girlfriend actually has some time to entertain him. Guys like this, usually prefer to butt-kiss his girlfriend than hangout with "bros"(he'll probably lick her feet too). You won't be able to see his shadow when he's with his girl.


So, yeah! "Bros over Hoes" only apply with a clause;- when guy has no girl.

HAVE A NICE DAY!

The Pork Place

Hey, guys! - and girls...

Have you been planning for V- day??
Where to celebrate... What to buy...?

Well, if you're in Selangor/ KL, I have a place to recommend...

- The Pork Place-

Well, the name says it all... If you love pork, this place offers pork in most of its dishes...
Most of all, it is quiet... Where you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear...
(unless you have a noisy group of uncivilized pigs next to your table, to which I suggest you slaughter them and serve while piping hot)

Anyway......


I wouldn't recommend the "Pork Shoulder" because it costs RM45 and there is no fragrant smell, to which I suspect, they didn't marinate the pork... But if you're not a picky eater, the cream sauce which was served with the pork shoulder... smells & tastes gooood......(note the extra "oo"s)

I wouldn't recommend the "Katsu Ciabatta"(RM23) either... the cooking and preparation is waaaaayyyy too simple... A waste of tastebuds time, I'd say...

However, the "Pork Belly spaghetti"(RM24) is a better choice... It might be a little pricey compared to other western restaurants, but it is very fragrant... Smells like... like... heaven... If, heaven have a smell... It'd probably smell like that...(I'm exaggerating... It does not taste like heaven, I do not know what heaven tastes like...but it is a fragrant taste of cream which will melt in your mouth) AND most importantly... they serve it with a generous amount of PORK!

Apologies for the non- existent pictures... I have been downgraded from a lousy phone to a barely usable phone... and hence... no pictures... =(You'd just have to take my word for it... =S


"The Pork Place" is located at "IOI boulevard"... And MAYBE... after the meal, you can enjoy a mug of beer with her while listening to a band at "The Palette, IOI boulevard", located just BEHIND "The Pork Place"...




FML story: I am not celebrating V-day this year......... AGAIN!!!

P/S : I promise to post a "Easy Lazy Pork Chop Recipe" on the 12th of February... Just in case you want to prepare something special for him/her instead... ;D

Damned! You're just like my mum!

Girls... Does it sound familiar?
Fret not! If your boyfriend constantly tells you how alike you are with his mum, take it as a compliment... Because you are probably "The One" for him...

The same goes for guys... If your girlfriend said you remind her of her dad, you are "The One" for her too...

In the beginning, people usually choose someone who is totally opposite of what their parents are... Probably because of the rebellious nature that humans have...

But, sooner or later, they will find comfort being with someone who resembles their parents, without realizing it consciously...

Basically, people always choose someone who resembles their parent because of the warmth and familiarity they grew in, I guess... People also prefer going places and/or meeting faces which they are familiar with... I guess this is also why daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws generally don't get along, because they're too alike...?

Anyway, I am speaking in general... Of course, there are people who choose their life partner differently...
But if he/she says that you remind him/her of his mum/her dad, it is something you should be happy about... 


.........Be glad, and say, "Thanks, I love you too".........

This is the thing which pisses me off!!

This is a true story {ALL THE OTHER STORIES ARE TRUE TOO} about an acquaintance, -YES!ACQUAINTANCE!


This girl is 22 years old and she drives a nice car for her age. A Malaysian car, but not a small one like Kelisa, Kancil or MyVi, etc. She is a student. And guess what she does for a living?

- A MISTRESSsssssssss!!!!!!! -


You read it right, she is a MARRIED MAN'S mistress! Damned it! And to make things clear, I DID NOT presume she is, it came out FROM HER OWN MOUTH!!! OMG! She is not ashamed to say it out. And she knew he had a wife! WITH KIDS! WTH!!!!!!!!!


I mean I get it if she has to feed her sick mother and put her 12 brothers/sisters to school(which she don't), BUT NOOOOOOOOO... It was all for the luxuries. LV bags, clothes, nail spa, etc. It is so so so so so so..............I am so speechless... YOU RUINED OTHER PEOPLE'S MARRIAGE JUST TO GET WHAT YOU WANT!



* I am just too pissed to continue right now, go figure *

♥♥♥ I LOVE LOVE ♥♥♥

♥ Being in love makes one feel that anything and everything is possible

♥ Don't wait around for LOVE to happen, YOU make it happen

♥ The longer you wait or the harder it is to find "THE ONE", he/she is most probably "the one"

 

♥ When you feel everything is falling apart, just remember the simple happy moments you once had, and remind him/her of it too

♥ There is no right or 100% accurate formula for LOVE, just trust your heart and be prepared for anything and everything which comes in your way

♥ Believe in each other when no one else would

♥ Compromise and understand each other, give each other time to express and/or complain

♥ Be supportive of everything ; unless it brings them harm

lastly...

♥ LOVE for the sake of loving, not because you are lonely and/or for any other reason

 

 

 

* I am going to be really busy this few months, so I will write whenever I can. In the mean time, tell that someone you really love them and SHOW IT, PROVE IT *

 

Freedom

Honestly, freedom is a luxury. Especially when you are in a relationship. But then again, how much freedom are we entitled to?

When we were younger, we had no freedom because our parents protected us like a precious treasure. Putting a force-field shield around us. We could only move around in certain perimeters.

Later, when we were growing up to be adolescent, we were granted a little freedom. We get to attend school, make more friends and go to malls. But then again, it is within certain perimeters.

What is LITTLE freedom? What is a lot? How much is a lot enough to satisfy your need to be free?

BUT!

Did you know that asking for freedom is asking to be cared less?

When we had no freedom, it is because our parents cared so much for us, thus having built those shield around us. When we had a little freedom, our parents had to care less, to let us learn our own mistakes, to let us grow on our own, thus, we had less care.

THE POINT IS : When you ask for freedom, freedom is what you get. But you will lose the care of the one you love. Slowly...but surely... Because as time goes, the person will no longer care for you, for that is truly granting you TOTAL freedom.

So, if it was you, what would you have chosen?

TO BE CARED FOR or TO BE FREE?

If you want to be free, there is no point being in a relationship. Do not make commitments. Because that is what some people call "an open relationship" which is equivalent to being friends with some "advantages".

Grateful

I read Xiaxue's "THE Love Story" few days ago. If you have read her older entries, you might think she is just some blonde bimbo. But I have always thought she is the smartest female blogger around, honest and true to her opinions(she does sound bimbotic at times because she does it on purpose lah). But I have never thought that she could be so REAL, so generous in love.

She and Mike had a long distance relationship for about 2 years before Mike went across the globe to be near her. A real life fairytale. She was with Mike when he had absolutely nothing, when he was just a student. She took a risk being with him. I am so happy that they are finally getting married. I love happy endings. {You must read her story, it is really very touching}

***************

After reading her entry, I felt so grateful. Because the distance of 150 kilometres suddenly feels... so... short. I am so grateful that I am only 6 hours away from him, and I don't have to take a plane to be next to him.

Today, on 23rd December 2009, is our second year anniversary. Time passed so quickly being with him, because he makes me laugh...most of the time. Though our future remains uncertain, but one thing is for sure, I am grateful to have him as my friend, my family, my beloved, my everything... EVERYTHING.

HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARY!!!

*round 1*...FIGHT!!

To be honest, I can't remember when was the last time I fought with Max. It was probably a year ago.

*feel like picking a fight with him*

Just kidding.

Fighting or being in an argument is not all that bad. But make sure that when you have an argument, both sides have a chance to talk, like a debate. Express it all out. Fight like wolves. The point is, both sides have a chance to say how they feel. And both sides win. (Actually there is no win or lose, it is just that everyone wants to be happy with their partner, yes?)

For example, Max and I really fight when we fight. That is how I understand how he feels, and he understands what I want and vice versa. And no more arguing about the same matter anymore, because both already said what is needed to be said.

For some people, they are afraid of arguments, so they try to avoid it. But does avoiding help? NO. In fact, when an issue comes up, solve it by talking, discussing, shouting, hitting, farting, burping, etc. Anything to express yourself. (Don't hit so hard until it becomes an abuse lah, maybe just a pat or something, to make them pay attention)

Why?

Because if you leave the issue halfway, it will certainly, positively, ABSOLUTELY RESURFACE! Then, you have to go through the same process again and again, arguing over the same matter, the same issue, the same topic and at the same time, new issues pop up. So, it will be a never ending argument anyway. So, why not solve the issue whenever it comes up? Bury the issue deep down and never mention it again.

Or would you rather argue about the same issue every week? The choice is yours.

But of course, there a some people who just don't understand human language. I have personally met some of these people.

example :

Me : Why don't you tell him you care? I mean, you care about him, right?

Human : Yes, I know. I don't know.

Me : What do you mean you know, you don't know?

Human : I care. I don't know.

Me : You mean you don't know how to tell him? Or what?

Human : No, I know. But he is a guy. I am a girl.

Me : Huh?? But he already told you he cared right? So what is wrong if you did the same?

Human : Because elephant is mammal and very big. Because he is a guy, I am a girl. I think we are going to celebrate somewhere nice this year.

Me : What? I mean that's not even the topic... ...zzz

*see...so random, and out of topic...gets on my nerve talking to someone like this!*

It is really difficult to talk to them, but it all comes back to how much you know/understand them. If you know/understand them, I am sure you know the way to get the message through.

Uncomplicated it

continued from previous post...

J thought that eventhough she was the official girlfriend, she is still the third one. So, she thought, at least she managed to save a friendship eventhough the relationship did not work out. Little did she know that the "friend" was not her friend at all.


After J broke up with Ass, he went out with K "in daylight" - okay, they officially went out together. After a few months, Ass got bored because he went out with ONLY ONE girl. Then he kept stalking J asking her to go back to him and that he had already broken up with K. J then consulted me, which resulted me scolding J for making such a bad choice.

I told her, "This kind of guy is worthless piece os sh*t and a useless cheater. He cheated twice and he can cheat you again. Plus, if you really is important to him, he would not have waited a few months to get you back. Even if he was not with K, he could cheat on you with another girl anyway."

J declined Ass but remained friends. Soon after, ugly monsters appeared. K hinted J to back off by "accidently" sending love e-mails/comments between her and Ass. K even deleted J from her friend list and does not see J as a friend. Ass was irritated that J did not accept him back, he started assaulting her with foul language. (see what happens when you reject a guy... -an ugly low self-esteem monster shows up with no manners)

J was no doubt upset but broke off all contacts with them. However, Ass is still not letting go.

ASSDonkey

# Yes, I know this is a one-sided story. I actually heard this story more than a month ago but decide to post now because I was trying to hear the other side of the story. Since K was avoiding me like a plague, I guess she is indeed guilty as charged. Plus, I have known K for 7 years, maybe less but about there. So, there is no reason to avoid me unless you have something to hide, right? #

IMHO: In the matter of fact, I think K purposely told J Ass's name (refer previous post), so that J will leave. Because J is the official girlfriend and Ass would not leave J, so she have to make J leave.

Complicated

Previously I had to many stories to listen to. Don't even know when or which to post. One of my friends did ask me when am I going to post her story. Well, this is it...
(it is quite long, so maybe I will divide it to two parts)

J went out with a guy from her same school. She was with him for almost a year. Everything was so good. One day, she went for a drink with a schoolmate, K. Talking about guys and so on. Suddenly, K mentioned her boyfriend's name. So, J thought, ok... Maybe that name is a common name, so it is not surprising if J's boyfriend and K's boyfriend  had the same name. So, J jokingly asked K if it is the same guy. Well...... there is no words to describe J's feelings when she realize that K's boyfriend IS HER BOYFRIEND!


J then broke up with the guy (let's call him Ass). Then she found out that K has been going out with that Ass before J. However, when K was going out with Ass, Ass was with another girl. So, NOBODY KNEW that K was going out with Ass. To be precise, Ass was cheating on the the first girl with K (the first one was that girl, second is K, third is J). And J found out about this AFTER she broke up with him. And how did she find out? From K's mouth... K PERSONALLY TOLD J about it. And all the while, J was taking the blame of ruining Ass's first relationship because nobody knew about K.

I seriously effing hate this muthaeffer. I am wondering how good looking he is. Seriously. Can you believe this shizz? Damn it. However, this is a one-sided story. Being on this side, I can help but feel infuriated. One guy playing with three girls. Shizzy eunuch.

Because J is the third, she decided to leave. Hurt and depressed. At least she managed to save a friendship. OR MAYBE NOT? Tell you in the next part.

When to let go?

Question : When is it time to let go? 

Here is a real life story...

*Serena been with her husband since secondary school. They have a daughter and she is currently pregnant again. However, the problem is her husband's infidelity. But she loves him too much to leave him. She met the third party and had a drink with the third party to have an adult conversation. There was no hair-pulling, face slapping, pour-water-on-each-other heated argument nor disagreement. The third party agreed to leave and not destroy her marriage.

Few weeks later, Serena saw her husband with the girl again. She has no choice but to separate them. But her efforts seem meaningless because no matter what she does, they always went back to each other. Even after she confronted her husband, her husband admitted he loved the girl and he wanted to keep both. 

Every time Serena's husband goes out, Serena would go out too. Her pre-schooled daughter followed her everywhere she goes and barely has any sleep. This has been going on for about 2 years. And now, she is pregnant AGAIN. Her last resort was to send his husband back to his hometown but she has some business to take care in her hometown.

*Not her real name.

IMHO : Serena MUST let go NOW.

Why?

Because she has fought for more than 2 years for that jerk. She did EVERYTHING she can to protect, to maintain, to restore her marriage. But her husband has yet to wake up from his "slumber", thinking the girl really loves him. She even have a 2nd child with him after he betrayed her. And as I said before, it takes TWO to work out a relationship, NOT one person alone or three. Now that Serena has TWO children to consider, more accurately, their FUTURE to consider. I'm sure they are not able to concentrate in their studies if they have to constantly move about and stay awake til wee hours in the morning or having to stay in Serena's friend's home. They are still young, Serena IS still young. What is there to lose if she leaves him? She has the ability to support her children AND herself. But if she don't leave him, not only she ruins her life, but also her children.

But she has been dating him for so many years, spend so much time in this relationship, not easy to leave...

What is EASY?? NOTHING is meant to be easy. But because of her children, she MUST leave. If...IF her husband values their relationship, he would not have done such things. I KNOW it is hard when so much affection and emotion was put into the relationship. I HAD ended a 4 year relationship, it was not easy, but I KNOW it was the best decision I MADE.

*having headache now, MUST SLEEP!!! anyway, this is a true story told from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of...so, there is no point figuring who it is...sorry if there is any grammar/spelling mistakes...*

So, what do you think??