B♥F

Best Friends.

Funny how life works, ain't it? A year ago, my best friend sent a bunch of roses to my office. I rejected him. In the most cruel way imaginable. 

After 2 or 3 months later, we started speaking again. And everything was back to normal where we were both best friends again. Until last month.

He bought flowers again. But this time, he did not send them to my office. He kept it in the fridge. When I wanted to get my bubble tea from the fridge, I saw the bunch of roses. Stood there for a moment. Stoned. Then, I picked up my bubble tea and pretended I saw nothing. The next thing I remember was hearing him taking a deep breath and mumbling, "ok!" to himself.

How could anyone be stupid enough to go after someone who had cruelly rejected you again and again?

And he literally said, "I want to give you flowers and hold your hand, I don't want to regret like Bruno Mars".

*rofl*

That was the sweetest thing ever. 

Now, Boy... Friend.

I think he is the craziest guy I have ever met. I don't think anyone has loved me more than him. Not only he understands me in and out, but he is the second person in the whole world who knows me other than myself.

Even the exact size of my feet.

He even chose the design himself. 

He will always ask me what I want to eat, what I want to do, where I want to go. It is always me first. Everything for me, everything because of me. I mentioned to my mum that he treats me like a princess, but my mum said he treats me like a queen.

How can anyone not fall for this guy?

"Anata no kareshi"

But I am still mean to him. Sometimes. Most of the time.

Walking the distance

Have you ever walked past a shoe boutique, see a really beautiful pair of shoes and it made you want it so badly that you would kill, rob and steal?

Then you use a long time, saving up, wanting to buy that pair of shoes so badly. Then when you finally bought it, and it fits perfectly. 

Or so, you'd think.

The truth is, you won't know how well that pair of shoes fit you until you start walking. That is when your feet hurt, swelled, hurt and cut. Or worse, that pair of shoes was not meant for long distance resulting in a sprained ankle.

Okay. If you're wondering where am I going with this, wait... I am getting there.

Sometimes when you like someone so much, you want to be with the that person no matter what. Even when the person is not compatible. Even when the person has nothing in common with you. Even when the person is not your type. Even when the person doesn't appreciate you. You hope and hope that everything will work out somehow. But how long will it last?

Do you really think it is possible to be with someone in a long term who you can't communicate with, doesn't share the same ideals and doesn't understand each other? Well, nothing is impossible, but it is highly unlikely to work and usually ends up someone getting hurt.

Sometimes it is just better to know when to give up and when to walk away. Just like choosing a shoe, even though it may be of your size, but in a long run, it will hurt so much that it would be much better to just walk barefooted.

Love Letters

So, I was cleaning my closet and stuffs, and look what I found...?

My love letters' folder covered in dusts. And spider webs. And lizard crap. *shudders*

Reading these letters after so many years put a smile on my face. Actually, it made me laugh out loud. We were so childish. And silly. But everything was easier back then, simpler. And happier.

These were from GK. And he actually took the time to draw a Charizard Pokemon.

There were some from my national service days too. Some were from guy friends, some from girl friends, I kept it all. Those were the good times.

This was the first letter from a very sweet guy, SJ. But I forgot to take it out from my pocket, so it ended up in the washing machine. Hahaha!

SJ was a very sweet guy. He still is a sweet guy, but I don't know why he likes to act like a jerk sometimes. And then, there was a stack of letters which broke my heart. Well, because I broke that guy's heart, and the one last letter from him, was about how broken he was. That was the only thing I have ever regretted in my live. Though I never played with his feelings, neither did I want to intentionally hurt him, in the end, he still got hurt. I've not  seen him after that because... he refused to talk to me. 

D, sorry that I broke your heart. I was childish and immature. But I hope you are truly happy now, wherever you are.

Oh, btw, how was your Valentine's Day? I hope everyone had a magical night.  ❤

Will you spend your life with someone you don't love?

Someone once said, once you pass a certain age, you would prefer to be with someone "YOU DON'T HATE."


Another certain someone said, 
"I am looking for someone who can complement me in my life. When I do something, she can complement me, make it better. If I don't do something, she is able to do it."


They are not wrong, they are being realistic. I admire them for that. Call me childish. Call me naive. However, I just can't see myself being with someone for material things/goals or stability in life. Would a person be really happy, if they had to spend their life with someone they don't love?


Some will say that, as time passes by, one will fall in love with another if they are always together. That love will grow on you. Really?


But what if before you fall in love with the person you don't hate, you met someone that you really love? What happens then? Aren't you indirectly using someone for your own goal? Isn't it a little selfish? 


Then again, someone asked me, what is love?

I can't define love, it is something that has to be felt, experienced. But, one thing is for sure, when you love someone, it is because of who the person is, not what he/she has. And love is definitely not the absence of hate.


The question here is, will you spend the rest of your life with someone you don't love?

Heal Your Heart

Recently, I chatted with an Australian Asian girl. This basically what she told me.

"I was with this guy for more than a year. I loved him, but he cheated on me more than once. It was because he was insecure and needed recognition all the time. Finally, it was too much to take, so I ended it with him. But even after that, I still loved him. Even now. I'm not an ugly person, I think I look better than average. And there are guys who went after me. But I still couldn't forget him. I went out with a few guys, went partying and got drunk, and there was a guy who was really sweet to me. We went out for a while but I had to end it because... You know? I couldn't forget my ex, and that guy ended being very hurt."

What that girl had to go through with her cheating ex is really sad. But there is no excuse to use another person. Don't get me wrong, that girl is very nice and she admitted what she did was wrong. She tried to make it right.


When you choose to be with a person for the wrong reasons, not only you are running away from your problems, you are hurting another individual with your actions. At the same time, you do not realise that you are hurting yourself too. The past will haunt you, everything you do with that rebound will remind you of him/her. And the pain would always be there.


The only way to recover from previous relationship is to cry it out. Take all the time you need. Do the things you love. Go out with your friends. Splurge on yourself. 


Heal your heart. And when you are finally ready, you will be able to love freely. 

Money vs Love

Maybe Love would stand a chance if the world wasn't so materialistic.

       Maybe there would be lesser divorce... And more happy people...

                  

*****

Jordy Towers - "Money Money" & "Don't Say It's Over"

"I don't want money, money... If I can't have love..."

*****

Which would you rather have? Money? Or Love?

For me, the choice is obvious ain't it? Because, you can work your whole life, earn all the money in the world. But, once you let her/him slip away, you may not get her/him back regardless of how much you have. 

Money can't buy true love.

Wish You Were Here

He was a boy with big dreams and ambition...
    Now he is a money-oriented man who forgot his dreams...


I fell in love with that boy...
    and out of love with that man...


Reality and materialism...
    outweighs LOVE...


I guess, everyone has to wake up sometime...
    Still, I wished that boy was still here...

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I can be tough

I can be strong

But with you, it's not like that at all

There's a girl

who gives a shit

behind this wall
You've just walked through it

And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It's who I am, don't have to try hard
We always say, say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

[Chorus:]
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

[Bridge:]
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go

(let go let go let go let go)

No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go

(let go let go let go let go let go let go let go)

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here (I wish you were)
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here. 

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

For those of you who said that I am emo, here's a picture of me, emo-ing ↓

"Letting go of someone you LOVE is hard,

but holding on to someone who doesn't feel the same is harder"

Simple, but true

Hence, there is no reason to "suddenly" fall out of love with someone...

If you are brave enough to fall in Love

You are brave enough to let it go, when there is nothing left to hold on to...

There is no "WHY"

Honestly, people go for looks, someway or another. It's always, "Hey, that guy/ girl is cute" and almost never "Hey, that guy/ girl seems to have an amazing personality even though he/ she is ugly".

But when you love someone, there is no reason "why". You won't be able to notice how hard, or how fast you are falling for him/ her. That is why even though he may be a douche, or she may be a cheating whore, but you can't stop yourself from loving him/ her. And that is LOVE. 

Food For Thought

- Love will find you when you least expects it. 

Hope everyone is well and happy- (",)