The Mistress : How Easy It Is

Do you know how easy it is to be the other woman? The side chick? I recently had a chance to view it in that perspective. Before anyone starts bashing me, I didn't do anything. Please read on.

Since last year, I've met one of my clan members face-to-face (clan as in Clash of Clans) when he asked me out for a game of pool. Thereafter, due to common interests, we hung out together quite frequently, almost everyday if he wasn't working. I didn't know he had a girlfriend at that point of time. Everytime I asked him, he denied and insists that he was single. Although I didn't have any feelings for him, I definitely do not want to come between anyone's boyfriend/husband.

He was outgoing, funny and I find it particularly easy talking to him about anything and everything. We went futsal, swimming, badminton, road trips, movies, clubs, bars and I absolutely loved the way he drove. I realised how alike we were. He is like the male version of me.

Fast-forward to when I found out he had a girlfriend. Because one of his friend said something which caught my attention. In which I gave him a last chance to confess or never speak to me again. Knowing how much I hate being lied to, he confessed because he didn't want to ruin our friendship.

From time to time, he would complain to me about his girlfriend.

"I worked late. I was tired, I was having a fever and she woke me up because I was snoring."

"She hated my grandmother. She complained about her and even argued with her."

"She was talking to other guys. How would I know if she was cheating?"

"She is complaining about my sister."

"Whenever we go out, she wants to go home and sleep early. I always had to send her home and then go back out."

"I really can't stand her mouth!"

Then I realised, how easy it was to manipulate their relationship. All I had to do was agree with whatever he said.

"She is so wicked! Doesn't she love you? And you were sick! How inconsiderate!"

"How disrespectful! Afterall, that is your grandmother! Even if she doesn't agree, she should have kept quiet."

"Sounds really dodgy. She shouldn't do that when she has a boyfriend. Are you invisible or what?"

"She should learn to give way to your sister since your sister is much younger. Shouldn't be so calculative."

"She doesn't give you face infront of your friends. That would probably make your friends think that you're scared of her, huh?"

It. Was. That. Easy.

I could have pointed a finger and he would just leave her.



But I didn't. Because I know how it felt to be on the other side. Whenever he complained about her, I would blame him instead. Because he wasn't giving her security. He wasn't spending time with her. Because he was selfish. Because he couldn't see what she was sacrificing. To the point that he stopped complaining about her to me.

When a relationship has passed the honeymoon phase, it will get comfortable, it will get boring. Because you've known so much about that person that you hardly ever have anything new to learn or to talk about. Everything feels like a routine. Every little thing she asks of you feels like a heavy burden.



Until that someone new comes along. Everything thing about your girlfriend becomes annoying, but you find it cute on that someone new. Everything is like a burden when it is for your girlfriend but you'd feel happy doing it for that someone new. When your girlfriend is angry, it pisses you off. When that someone new is angry, you try hard to make her smile. Seeing your girlfriend everyday is routine, but not seeing that someone new everyday makes you heart sick.

Well, people always say, "New is always better."

Until your girlfriend leaves. You will realised that your girlfriend WAS, and USED TO BE that someone new. Someone who is cute and you tried everything to make her smile everyday but over time, it got boring. Your girlfriend who sacrificed her time, her youth, her everything when she made you- her everything. You will realise that she was there when you had nothing to offer. And she was the one that will ever really love you.

Congratulations! You lost the only precious thing that money cannot buy- her love. No one will love you as much as she does. Congratulations on pursuing something new. Which will, in time, turn into a routine once again. Let me enlighten you, that someone new who accepted your pursues despite knowing you had a girlfriend, shows the kind of person she. And usually, she will not hesitate to upgrade to someone better. Someone, well, less boring.

 

Love Letters

So, I was cleaning my closet and stuffs, and look what I found...?

My love letters' folder covered in dusts. And spider webs. And lizard crap. *shudders*

Reading these letters after so many years put a smile on my face. Actually, it made me laugh out loud. We were so childish. And silly. But everything was easier back then, simpler. And happier.

These were from GK. And he actually took the time to draw a Charizard Pokemon.

There were some from my national service days too. Some were from guy friends, some from girl friends, I kept it all. Those were the good times.

This was the first letter from a very sweet guy, SJ. But I forgot to take it out from my pocket, so it ended up in the washing machine. Hahaha!

SJ was a very sweet guy. He still is a sweet guy, but I don't know why he likes to act like a jerk sometimes. And then, there was a stack of letters which broke my heart. Well, because I broke that guy's heart, and the one last letter from him, was about how broken he was. That was the only thing I have ever regretted in my live. Though I never played with his feelings, neither did I want to intentionally hurt him, in the end, he still got hurt. I've not  seen him after that because... he refused to talk to me. 

D, sorry that I broke your heart. I was childish and immature. But I hope you are truly happy now, wherever you are.

Oh, btw, how was your Valentine's Day? I hope everyone had a magical night.  ❤

Heal Your Heart

Recently, I chatted with an Australian Asian girl. This basically what she told me.

"I was with this guy for more than a year. I loved him, but he cheated on me more than once. It was because he was insecure and needed recognition all the time. Finally, it was too much to take, so I ended it with him. But even after that, I still loved him. Even now. I'm not an ugly person, I think I look better than average. And there are guys who went after me. But I still couldn't forget him. I went out with a few guys, went partying and got drunk, and there was a guy who was really sweet to me. We went out for a while but I had to end it because... You know? I couldn't forget my ex, and that guy ended being very hurt."

What that girl had to go through with her cheating ex is really sad. But there is no excuse to use another person. Don't get me wrong, that girl is very nice and she admitted what she did was wrong. She tried to make it right.


When you choose to be with a person for the wrong reasons, not only you are running away from your problems, you are hurting another individual with your actions. At the same time, you do not realise that you are hurting yourself too. The past will haunt you, everything you do with that rebound will remind you of him/her. And the pain would always be there.


The only way to recover from previous relationship is to cry it out. Take all the time you need. Do the things you love. Go out with your friends. Splurge on yourself. 


Heal your heart. And when you are finally ready, you will be able to love freely. 

A Romantic Place to Be...

I have been pretty busy lately. Hence, I attached pictures for your viewing pleasure with no caption whatsoever. It is a romantic place to be with your girlfriend/boyfriend especially at night.

Colmar Tropicale

 Bukit Tinggi

French Village

Japanese Village

Miss ya'll!!

Til Death Do Us Part

If my time is up, would you still be by my side?
Would you still remember me?

I know life ain't a bed of roses.
Well, could it just be life with a bed of lilies?
It does not necessary need to be roses.

I don't care if there ain't no luxurious life.
I don't care if life is too short.
I don't care if life is tough.
Just as long as I am with you.

Well, talk is cheap. Anyone and EVERYONE can say that.
EVERYONE can say, "I'd give my life for him/her!"

HAVE YOU DONE THAT? or at least close to it?
THE ANSWER IS NO...so you have no rights to say "I can give up my life, I can sacrifice, blah blah blah yada yada yada"

My life...had never been a normal one. Well, it was not tough, but it definitely was no ordinary life. And my love life... HAHA! freaking dramatic one.

Have you ever...
1. Chose to leave because you thought it'd be best for HIM/HER or it'd make HIM/HER happier?
(seriously, most people would say they had, but actually, they THOUGHT they could find someone better. But when they realize they could not...they would say it was for HIS/HER best - faker!)

2. Gone back to help the person you love, who said he/she did NOT love you anymore?
(with no intentions but just help)

3. Give up your dreams for him/her?
(most people would just lie that they did...well, you know, I know, you did not do that...thick-faced)

4. Give up your friends?
(and lose about 80% of your friends)

5. Stand by him/her?
(and ignore all the consequences and do your best to help his situation EVEN AFTER HE/SHE SIMPLY SCOLDED YOU)

I did...
All of the above...and even more...
I did not complain when he did not trust me, I EARNED HIS TRUST instead.

YET...I never said I could give up my life for him...

But I know...I will definitely do my best, even if it was life-threatening...

COULD YOU?!

Dilemma...again...

Is leaving really a solution? How sure are you that you would be happier if you left? Especially when he has done nothing to betray your trust or cheat on you... Is he worth staying?

Nothing is really certain... No one knows for sure what will happen next... Who knows? He could be "The One", and if you really give up on him without putting a fight, then it would be your loss - live with remorse for the rest of your life. Do not choose to end the relationship because it is tiresome. Do not end a relationship because you "chickened out". There is NO timeout in love/relationship, NO delays. NO pausing. If there's a reason to end a relationship, there would only be ONE- there is no more love in the relationship. So, fight with all your might. Even if everything else fails, you know that you had fought your hardest for love. And you can live with no regrets. No doubts of what might have happened or might have been. Be fearless and do not be ashamed of your feelings. Because you might never know what has been destined for you.

If you do not fight for it, you will lose out even if it was meant to be. Because if there is no effort, there won't be a result. Live. Life. Love. =)

Dilemma...

In relationships, tolerance and understanding is essential(d-u-h...!). But how well can one understand their partner? Does it mean that the longer the relationship the more you understand each other? What if your other half don't even understand you or DOES NOT want to understand you? What if you are the only one who's putting the effort to understand and sacrifice? What if it is more than you can take? Do you break it off? Or suffer in silence?

I just don't understand how can one be so ignorant towards their partner... Sometime I even wonder, do they know the meaning of love? Or it is rather just a phrase? The problem is when the other half does not want to or is to stupid to know anything... or even make any effort to at least try to understand... What is love? Why be in a relationship to suffer?

Have you ever thought, "Why he does not understand me, he doesn't support me and even put me down in things that I believe in. I have to digest everything he says and do as he says". Why? Because he is superior? Because he is a guy? More often than not, argue about the slightest things... When you are in the wrong, he just laugh about it. When he is wrong, he gets angry and avoids the conversation. Because he is NEVER wrong. When asking for opinion and then discards, it is really frustrating because he should not ask about it if he was not going to believe it in the first place, right? As for his friends, everything is ok when it comes to his friends. He laughs about it when he is wrong with his friends. Everything okie dokie...I guess friends rules, huh? So, the right thing to do is just shut up and live with it? Or leave?...for good...

Bored...

There was this guy which I went out with, D. He was a really nice guy. He is not really smart but he is a studious type. Not the bad boy kind. I knew him from tuition. And a convent girl had her eyes on him, which made her badmouth me later. Anyway, D is from an above average family. And his mum is very protective of him(yeah, he's the only son) or *erhemm* "mama's boy". Hahaha!

Anyway, he is really sweet. He would look for me before school starts(he's from another school). Not to mention he walked to school just to see me. It was nice at first. But soon, I began to hide from him. I even went earlier to school while he skipped school just to see me. And after avoiding him for about two months, I finally broke the news to him. It totally broke his heart. He even pleaded for weeks.

After the break up, I never saw him again. I guess I was really mean to him. He gave his all but I ignored his feelings. I guess when I saw him everyday, I feel like I could not breathe. Suffocating. Bored with the predictable everydays. I guess this happens when one does not know how to tell the other how they really feel... or when one does not know how to be honest... or the other one does not know how to give space. And also when one is too young to appreciate anyone.

Over the years, I've learnt that what goes around comes around. I regretted hurting anyone. You will be treated the same way you treat others. I have learnt my lesson. And for this guy, D, I'm glad he found someone(my god-sis)... How small this world is... I gave my blessings and is really happy for them. And they are still together til this day. Its about 5 or 6 years now. Happy endings. =)

The Beginning...

Hmmm...What is love? What makes a relationship? First and foremost, there is NO formula(or sure win) for a relationship. Always bear that in mind.

My first experience in relationships started at an early age(it wasn't a fad then). I'm not even sure if that is considered a relationship. It was...was probably some primary school puppy love. All we did was pass little love notes, talking on the phone and just being together most of the time...Just pure, simple, childish puppy love... No worries about anything. His dimpled smile was what i fell for. And he would always infect people with his happy, cheerful mood... even when he was punished for talking during lessons, he would always smile. (to think of it now, maybe he had some skrew loose somewhere) Haha!

Anyway, this relationship should be what recent couples should have. Simple, fuss-free relationship. No arguements. Just fun happy days to be remembered. But I guess life ain't so simple, aight? People get more and more demanding in their relationship as time passes... Weaknesses begin to show... and frustrations about everything become the root of every arguement. Not to mention temptations and jealousy. Well, in my opinion, one should always be thankful to find someone to fall in love. Nothing is predictable. Have less demands and more tolerance because NOBODY is ever perfect. Eventhough a couple of minor arguements might come up every once in while. Make sure that that problem is discussed and reviewed once and for all. Never ever bring the same issue up again. Because as time goes by, there will be more and more challenges in the relationship, and if that problem is not solved once and for all, the problems would pile up and you will be fighting for years over the same thing. In the end, sparks in the relationship would fade. Easier said than done, huh? Well, if you love that someone, you must be willing to sacrifice regardless the other half did or did not sacrifice. You, yourself must change because you can never change someone else. This is IF, you so-called LOVE someone.