Her Point of View (Warning: Long Story)

I guess many people in a long term relationship will find this situation rather familiar. Whereby both parties are too comfortable with each other that everything is a routine.

Recently, the kareshi and I is in a situation where we don't even talk for more than 10 words a day. (Figuratively speaking). The funny thing is, we are not even in an argument whatsoever. As a person who always listen to other people's relationship problems, my advise is never bring this up to your girl friends. Reason is simple, your friends will always side with you and that will only make things worse. (e.g. words like "he takes you for granted", "he doesn't appreciate you", "you deserve better", so on...)

P/S: Guys, I know that you have your own thinking. Why trouble her with your daily problems or you are just in your thinking-of-nothing-box. But trust me, talk to her before she talks to her friends or worse, another shoulder to cry.

Anyway, I always believe that there is TWO sides to each story. As the kareshi always chooses silence over any heated argument, what other way than telling my side of the story here?

So, here is my point of view:

I remember you used to say "I love you!" every time, in fact, almost everyday. And not because I don't love you, but I think "love" is to come from the heart. From what you feel, not what you say. And after I brought this up, you rarely ever said you love me anymore. I don't deny that you always shower me with gifts, no, expensive gifts. But I want you to know that I would rather trade those gifts with extra alone time with you. Like we used to. I also explained to you why I think that "I love you" are nothing more than just words. Because it felt like, I am never your priority. For example, you never thought when I am coming home late, and it would be dangerous, because you are occupied on your Counter-Strike game which starts at 11p.m.. Everything I do, is because I love you. With my heart. Not because I needed to, not because it was my responsibility. But because I wanted to. Without even asking, I will buy and cook your favourite food, watch and support you play your game, massage your tired back, prepare your breakfast for work, everything is automatic, not requested. And then, there is your birthday. Your birthday is kind of a big deal. But knowing that you already own what you needed and I couldn't afford what you wanted, I try my best to get something you like. Although it is nothing expensive, but I put in effort, or as the chinese saying, "我很用心去做". And that is because, "I Love You".

Secondly, I am sensitive to people implying that I am a gold-digger in any way. Yes, you did not ask me to share your rental and utilities expenses. But I am uncertain if you know that I do spend money on groceries we use, buy you dinner, whatever your necessity is and whatever the house needed even though I do not earn as much as you do. I am not being calculative but I want to make this very clear, because I cannot remember what have I asked from you. You did not need to tell me that "What you want, you shall buy it, what you need, I will buy it". Even on the Krabi trip, I did repay my share of flight tickets, accommodations and daily expenses. I really can't remember what else have I owed you that you would say that to me. Please do remind me if I did owe you anything because I really can't remember. 

When it comes to food, I usually let you decide where or what to eat. Because out of the both of us, you are the more fussy one. But I guess as time passed, you are annoyed having to make all the decisions even though I did not do that dance. What dance? This dance:

Boy: What you want to eat?

Girl: Anything

Boy: Japanese food?

Girl: We had that last week

Boy: Indian food

Girl: Too spicy

Boy: Then what you want to eat?

Girl: Anything

Whatever you chose, I just eat. I don't even complain. Much. Probably. But then again, in Krabi, although I paid my share of daily expenses, I didn't get to choose what I wanted to eat. Because you wanted to share what YOU wanted to eat. This annoyed me a lot. Why? Because everyone else got to eat what they wanted, while I shared what YOU wanted. Anyway, now that it is out, I am past it.

Moving on.

I don't know since when or how it began. 7 days a week, this is the regular routine. Work, dinner, you-on-your-game-game-game (as in, Hearthstone, Counter-Strike, Summoners Wars), urgh, too-tired-after-game, sleep. Repeat. And on weekends. Wake up, lunch, Dungeons & Dragons, dinner, you-on-your-game-game-game, sleep. Repeat. Please note, there is no "Me" in your schedule. Despite you selfless sacrifice on giving up weekends' Dungeons & Dragons activity for "ME", there is still no place for me in your schedule because you merely replaced your Dungeons & Dragons with DotA2. The only difference is you used to play Dungeons & Dragons at your colleagues', while now, I get to look at your back while you play DotA2. I suggested doing what we used to do, playing co-op games together, karaoke, board games, so on. But no. Not even a no, just no response. Maybe your imba-ness is too OP, cannot game with girlfriend. Ok.

Moving on.

You recently said, why is it that you could no longer understand me the way you used to? The truth is, I have always been the way I am. I never interfere your games despite it being 24/7/365. More so if it relates to your work. The one who changed was you. I don't think you even remembered what you promised me on 24 June 2013. 

I am not a difficult person to talk to. I do ask you before I lose my anger. (e.g. Why didn't you answer your phone? Answer: I was playing Dungeon Defenders). I am not being unreasonable, so, why is it that you couldn't talk to me? ElephantBaby once told me that you didn't like the tone I used when I asked you to put the clothes away which were lying on the exact same spot for over 4-5 months. I changed my tone. But the clothes didn't. Yes, I agree, habit takes time. But does it need 4-5 months to move a pile of clothes? Yes, I could have just done it for you, but the next pile takes 6-12 months. Do you agree? I do not want you to take my love for granted. Like it is "理所当然".

I remember you promised that you would take care of me. Why is it that now reversed? Every problem is swept under the carpet because you do not want to have any arguments. Right now, I feel like we are just roommates. Good morning. Good night.

What is your point of view?

一个巴掌拍不响