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Marriage: Are You Ready?

Recently, a very close friend of mine got married. 

It was really lovely and beautifully decorated, even the table arrangements were very thoughtful as it was close to the stage and we don't need to entertain strangers.

There was a lovely video of how they got engaged and their gorgeous wedding pictures. I am really happy for him. He was always so mischievous and cheeky in a playful way, it is great that he finally settled down. I wish him a long and happy marriage ahead!

But on a related note, back to the topic everyone always asks, Are You Ready For Marriage?

If you think that love is all you need for a marriage to work, trust me, you are being really naive. Because Marriage =/= Wedding. A wedding could be as grand as a palace ball but it does not mean that your marriage would last til death do you part.

Firstly, ask yourself, why would you want this? Why do you want to be married? 
- To be with the one you love for the rest of your life
- Because you love them
- Because you want to strengthen the relationship
- Family/peer pressure
- Age, it is just time to settle down
- You want to have a family

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If your answer is anything but the last reason, then you may want to reconsider your choice. Why would a piece of paper stop you from being with the one you love? Does that mean without marriage, you can't be with them? If you expect that a piece of paper could change your life, then perhaps, you might want to reconsider the strength of your relationship.

If you want to marry, make sure that the choice is only because of both of you, not because your family wants it so. Because at the end of the day, it is you who would be spending your life with him/her.

With that said, a marriage is not ONLY about TWO persons in love. It also involves his/her family too. You can't turn your back from his/her family because they ARE your family now. And definitely, do not use age as an excuse to get married.

As we grow older, we tend to expedite the process of courtship, to dating, to marriage because the older you get, the harder it is to build a family. But, how well do you know your partner? Because of the expedited process, some may get married after 2-3 years of dating. In mere 2-3 years, and you have decided that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Do you really accept your significant other as they are? Or do you just hope he/she will change and adapt to the married life?

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If all these still haven't helped in your decision-making, consider this:-
1. Accept your significant other, do not expect him to change for you
2. Go for a week long holiday in a foreign place, just the two of you... It will show how you work as a team, how to handle unexpected situations, how you resolve a problem together and what is it like living together. True colours will show.
3. Does your family like him/her? Does his/her family like you? If the answer is no to either one, take time to make things work, it will make your marriage easier in the future. No in-laws problem.
4. Are you willing to sacrifice anything from any part of you or your life? Could you sacrifice time to take care of your one month old baby while she get some rest? Would you be able to sacrifice buddy drinking/happy hour time?
5. Last but not least, can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person regardless of bad or good?


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With that said, those who are married, please know that marriage is not easy. It would always be more convenient to find an easy way out. But keep in mind, it was YOUR choice to spend YOUR life with the person YOU chose.

Always think from another person's shoes. It may not always be what it seems. You may think you are sacrificing everything but maybe your other half have been suffering in silence.


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