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Love is like a drug

Well, love is like a drug... You are happy and you are addicted to it when everything is all good. But when it is not, it is slowly killing you from the inside. You try to do everything you can to get the memories. Anything to get that adrenaline, that aesthetic feeling back.

But you can't. So, what do you do? Well, for most, people would do actual drugs or weed and drown themselves in alcohol. Anything to drown the pain. Anything to forget. And most of the time, wish that you never have to wake up to face another day of the excruciating pain. 

I remembered that pain. I remembered how much I wished I didn't have to wake up. I remembered putting a mask for everyone to see. Nobody saw through me. Nobody saw how I was dying inside. 

This song reminded me of that pain. The worst feeling ever. Sometimes I wished I was dead. I slept at 4-5am in the morning with tears in my eyes, wakes up at 3-4pm (wishing I could die in my sleep) and goes out late til the sun comes up. This repeated for a couple of months. This was the time I totally stopped blogging because of that numb, hollowness inside of me. This was the time I couldn't feel anything. I WANTED TO STAY HIGH ALL THE TIME, to escape the nothingness of reality!

It was when a friend who came back from London and what he said really gave me a smack on my face. I picked myself up and I am where I am now.

In conclusion, when a relationship is over and you'd feel like the world is falling down on you, when you feel like just giving up, just stay strong for a little while more. 

Because that friend said, "If you ever find yourself going lower and lower, and you can't get back up, that's just because you are not at your lowest YET. When you are at your lowest, the only way to go is UP!".

On another note, I prefer this beautiful version of "Stay High" from Chrissy which is more upbeat and brings a more positive vibe. Like the kind of feeling, which is high from being in love and missing the kareshi when he was away on his "bro trip" to Ho Chi Minh City.

Beautiful and talented Chrissy Constanza!

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