Her Point of View (Warning: Long Story)

I guess many people in a long term relationship will find this situation rather familiar. Whereby both parties are too comfortable with each other that everything is a routine.

Recently, the kareshi and I is in a situation where we don't even talk for more than 10 words a day. (Figuratively speaking). The funny thing is, we are not even in an argument whatsoever. As a person who always listen to other people's relationship problems, my advise is never bring this up to your girl friends. Reason is simple, your friends will always side with you and that will only make things worse. (e.g. words like "he takes you for granted", "he doesn't appreciate you", "you deserve better", so on...)

P/S: Guys, I know that you have your own thinking. Why trouble her with your daily problems or you are just in your thinking-of-nothing-box. But trust me, talk to her before she talks to her friends or worse, another shoulder to cry.

Anyway, I always believe that there is TWO sides to each story. As the kareshi always chooses silence over any heated argument, what other way than telling my side of the story here?

So, here is my point of view:

I remember you used to say "I love you!" every time, in fact, almost everyday. And not because I don't love you, but I think "love" is to come from the heart. From what you feel, not what you say. And after I brought this up, you rarely ever said you love me anymore. I don't deny that you always shower me with gifts, no, expensive gifts. But I want you to know that I would rather trade those gifts with extra alone time with you. Like we used to. I also explained to you why I think that "I love you" are nothing more than just words. Because it felt like, I am never your priority. For example, you never thought when I am coming home late, and it would be dangerous, because you are occupied on your Counter-Strike game which starts at 11p.m.. Everything I do, is because I love you. With my heart. Not because I needed to, not because it was my responsibility. But because I wanted to. Without even asking, I will buy and cook your favourite food, watch and support you play your game, massage your tired back, prepare your breakfast for work, everything is automatic, not requested. And then, there is your birthday. Your birthday is kind of a big deal. But knowing that you already own what you needed and I couldn't afford what you wanted, I try my best to get something you like. Although it is nothing expensive, but I put in effort, or as the chinese saying, "我很用心去做". And that is because, "I Love You".

Secondly, I am sensitive to people implying that I am a gold-digger in any way. Yes, you did not ask me to share your rental and utilities expenses. But I am uncertain if you know that I do spend money on groceries we use, buy you dinner, whatever your necessity is and whatever the house needed even though I do not earn as much as you do. I am not being calculative but I want to make this very clear, because I cannot remember what have I asked from you. You did not need to tell me that "What you want, you shall buy it, what you need, I will buy it". Even on the Krabi trip, I did repay my share of flight tickets, accommodations and daily expenses. I really can't remember what else have I owed you that you would say that to me. Please do remind me if I did owe you anything because I really can't remember. 

When it comes to food, I usually let you decide where or what to eat. Because out of the both of us, you are the more fussy one. But I guess as time passed, you are annoyed having to make all the decisions even though I did not do that dance. What dance? This dance:

Boy: What you want to eat?

Girl: Anything

Boy: Japanese food?

Girl: We had that last week

Boy: Indian food

Girl: Too spicy

Boy: Then what you want to eat?

Girl: Anything

Whatever you chose, I just eat. I don't even complain. Much. Probably. But then again, in Krabi, although I paid my share of daily expenses, I didn't get to choose what I wanted to eat. Because you wanted to share what YOU wanted to eat. This annoyed me a lot. Why? Because everyone else got to eat what they wanted, while I shared what YOU wanted. Anyway, now that it is out, I am past it.

Moving on.

I don't know since when or how it began. 7 days a week, this is the regular routine. Work, dinner, you-on-your-game-game-game (as in, Hearthstone, Counter-Strike, Summoners Wars), urgh, too-tired-after-game, sleep. Repeat. And on weekends. Wake up, lunch, Dungeons & Dragons, dinner, you-on-your-game-game-game, sleep. Repeat. Please note, there is no "Me" in your schedule. Despite you selfless sacrifice on giving up weekends' Dungeons & Dragons activity for "ME", there is still no place for me in your schedule because you merely replaced your Dungeons & Dragons with DotA2. The only difference is you used to play Dungeons & Dragons at your colleagues', while now, I get to look at your back while you play DotA2. I suggested doing what we used to do, playing co-op games together, karaoke, board games, so on. But no. Not even a no, just no response. Maybe your imba-ness is too OP, cannot game with girlfriend. Ok.

Moving on.

You recently said, why is it that you could no longer understand me the way you used to? The truth is, I have always been the way I am. I never interfere your games despite it being 24/7/365. More so if it relates to your work. The one who changed was you. I don't think you even remembered what you promised me on 24 June 2013. 

I am not a difficult person to talk to. I do ask you before I lose my anger. (e.g. Why didn't you answer your phone? Answer: I was playing Dungeon Defenders). I am not being unreasonable, so, why is it that you couldn't talk to me? ElephantBaby once told me that you didn't like the tone I used when I asked you to put the clothes away which were lying on the exact same spot for over 4-5 months. I changed my tone. But the clothes didn't. Yes, I agree, habit takes time. But does it need 4-5 months to move a pile of clothes? Yes, I could have just done it for you, but the next pile takes 6-12 months. Do you agree? I do not want you to take my love for granted. Like it is "理所当然".

I remember you promised that you would take care of me. Why is it that now reversed? Every problem is swept under the carpet because you do not want to have any arguments. Right now, I feel like we are just roommates. Good morning. Good night.

What is your point of view?

一个巴掌拍不响

Marriage: Are You Ready?

Recently, a very close friend of mine got married. 

It was really lovely and beautifully decorated, even the table arrangements were very thoughtful as it was close to the stage and we don't need to entertain strangers.

There was a lovely video of how they got engaged and their gorgeous wedding pictures. I am really happy for him. He was always so mischievous and cheeky in a playful way, it is great that he finally settled down. I wish him a long and happy marriage ahead!

But on a related note, back to the topic everyone always asks, Are You Ready For Marriage?

If you think that love is all you need for a marriage to work, trust me, you are being really naive. Because Marriage =/= Wedding. A wedding could be as grand as a palace ball but it does not mean that your marriage would last til death do you part.

Firstly, ask yourself, why would you want this? Why do you want to be married? 
- To be with the one you love for the rest of your life
- Because you love them
- Because you want to strengthen the relationship
- Family/peer pressure
- Age, it is just time to settle down
- You want to have a family

If your answer is anything but the last reason, then you may want to reconsider your choice. Why would a piece of paper stop you from being with the one you love? Does that mean without marriage, you can't be with them? If you expect that a piece of paper could change your life, then perhaps, you might want to reconsider the strength of your relationship.

If you want to marry, make sure that the choice is only because of both of you, not because your family wants it so. Because at the end of the day, it is you who would be spending your life with him/her.

With that said, a marriage is not ONLY about TWO persons in love. It also involves his/her family too. You can't turn your back from his/her family because they ARE your family now. And definitely, do not use age as an excuse to get married.

As we grow older, we tend to expedite the process of courtship, to dating, to marriage because the older you get, the harder it is to build a family. But, how well do you know your partner? Because of the expedited process, some may get married after 2-3 years of dating. In mere 2-3 years, and you have decided that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Do you really accept your significant other as they are? Or do you just hope he/she will change and adapt to the married life?

If all these still haven't helped in your decision-making, consider this:-
1. Accept your significant other, do not expect him to change for you
2. Go for a week long holiday in a foreign place, just the two of you... It will show how you work as a team, how to handle unexpected situations, how you resolve a problem together and what is it like living together. True colours will show.
3. Does your family like him/her? Does his/her family like you? If the answer is no to either one, take time to make things work, it will make your marriage easier in the future. No in-laws problem.
4. Are you willing to sacrifice anything from any part of you or your life? Could you sacrifice time to take care of your one month old baby while she get some rest? Would you be able to sacrifice buddy drinking/happy hour time?
5. Last but not least, can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person regardless of bad or good?

********************

With that said, those who are married, please know that marriage is not easy. It would always be more convenient to find an easy way out. But keep in mind, it was YOUR choice to spend YOUR life with the person YOU chose.

Always think from another person's shoes. It may not always be what it seems. You may think you are sacrificing everything but maybe your other half have been suffering in silence.

I WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY 2016 AHEAD!

Krabi : First Trip with the Kareshi!

On the 23rd January 2014, we went to G.E.M's concert in Stadium Putra, Bukit Jalil. 

And of course, how can we miss this awesome show without Elephantbaby and Nelle?

*****

The next day, KRABI, here we are!!!! *excited*

Ok, I am lazy and tired. The rest of the post consists of picturesque views and good food with great company. I had the most wonderful time of my life.

Our stay in Beyond Resort Krabi was one of the best hotel I've ever stayed in. They even have their own private beach.

(I am comparing this to one of the 5 star hotel I've stayed in Orchard Road, Singapore)

Our complimentary welcome drinks.

Their staffs were friendly and their services were first class.

When Nelle told them it was our anniversary, they sent a fruit cake to each of our rooms.

And it was absolutely delicious!!! One of the best things I've eaten for free. And they say that the best things in life don't come for free, IT IS A LIE!

We went to one of the best sunset dining in Ao Nang, Krabi, The Hilltop.

The view was mesmerising. But the company was what made the experience such a memorable one.

  

  

  

Of course, what would the trip to Krabi be without visiting the islands and swimming with the fishes.

  

  

Our daily activities in the evening consists of food, food, massages and food.

(Banana + nutella pancakes everyday, ftw!)

We did some kayaking outside of Beyond Resort.

Just "some". Kayaking. Outside of Beyond Resort. Literally.

 And the best part about Krabi is FOOD!!!!

Actual Ao Nang boat noodles. Not those gimmicks with 1 scoop of noodle in your bowl (so little until don't know want to put where) and you stack shitloads of bowl to take pictures.

Another memorable moment was when we had our massage by the beach. It was so relaxing, I fell asleep while having our head "massad". It was shooooo guuuuddd~~~

Khaaaa~~~

I watched many sunsets in Krabi. I really love this place and since it is the first trip with the kareshi, it makes the experience much more special.

Our last night in Krabi was spent having dinner by the beach with a tower of seafood and so much food that I could feel like I gained another 10kgs.

Yeap. That's a pig on the kareshi's tummy.

 BOOHOO!!! The day we check out and say bye-bye Krabi! (But I don't wanna....................) 

:(

Breakfast with sea breeze and the beautiful view.

Nelle's super healthy breakfast.

As usual, no breakfast is complete without fats and bacon for me.

Bye-bye Beyond Resort. I will never forget the experience you gave me.

T_________T

Well, back to real life and work. wuwuwuwuw~~~

 TwT

Btw, I can't thank Nelle enough so I'm gonna just post this here. Nelle is god-given angel to us. She planned the entire trip. She is the reason why our whole trip was so oriented. She is like a professional tour guide. If you feel seasick, Nelle has the cure. If you feel sick, Nelle has the paracetamol. Nelle has sunblock, vitamin C and aloe vera for after sun. Anything you need, you name it, she has it. Thank you, God for bringing Nelle to us.

Oh, another thing is my new toy from the kareshi.

My early birthday pressie and valentine's gift. And it is not even February yet.