Is It Worth It?

Last week, a friend of mine told me about his problems. Funny, I found it ironic that someone would come for me for advice considering what a mess I am in. But then again, I am unsure if this is normal for guys or its a guy thing.

My friend asks me about, what do you think about "Love"? 

And since I have been talking about unconditional love lately, that was the exact same thing I told him. Love does not just disappear. You may "like" that person and once that person changes, the "like" may disappear. But it is not the case for "Love". There is no reason for "Love". It is just there. 

Even a woman in an abusive relationship may leave her husband, but the "love" may never disappear. It may turn into "Hate" but that is because "Love" is still there. If "love" is not there, there is no "hate", just an empty feeling, nothingness. 

And his response was, "I don't miss her. At all. I just want to break up with her". Immediately, I responded, "That is the easiest way out. Running away from everything. And the most cowardly".

Apparently, his trust for his girlfriend was broken when he caught her texting another guy. When he confronted her, she deleted the messages instead of showing it to him and/or explaining that they were just friends. He realised that he could no longer trust her. 

My advice to him was to take a break and think everything thoroughly. Because of his suppressed anger inside (although he kept denying and saying that he doesn't feel anything), but anger clouds our judgment. We kept telling ourselves that we don't feel anything, this is the end of it because we are all humans and we are afraid of getting hurt. 

Throughout our entire conversation, he kept telling me that he doesn't love her, he cares about her but he doesn't love her anymore. I asked him, "Were you happy with her? Since this is your first girlfriend after being single for 7-8 years?". He nodded.

I asked, "Is that not worth fighting for?". He kept silent.

Today, he thanked me for my advice, and that is the satisfaction I get from helping other people. Most people gives advice not knowing the other side of the story. Most people don't even know the full picture.

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I know, you MAY have been in the same situation. But with 7 billion people in the world, I assure you, there is no 2 person in the world who could be exactly alike. Not even twins. How could you advise based on your own experience when other people are in a different relationship?


"Nothing easy is ever worth having. Something worth having, is never easy"