The Single Life

Or more commonly known on the web as forever... alone...

Is it really that bad though? A cute baby elephant recently asked me, you have been single for quite some time now... How long exactly? A year? What do you feel about being single?...

Honestly, this is the longest I have been single, yet I don't feel single. It has been more than a year, in fact, it is almost 2 years. But I have never been happier than when I was in a relationship. There is really such a thing as loving someone so much it literally hurts. I used to cry a lot. On some days, I don't even want to get out of bed. I hurt myself. It was just, that bad. Not that the relationship was bad, it's just that, he was everything and I was nothing. Not even to myself.

A very close friend, Pigupig, he was the only one who saw through me despite my strong facade. When I broke up with Max, he came back from London. He said, he wanted to check on me. He wanted to know how I was doing. But since I "seem" so strong, he is relieved. He told me not to do anything stupid before he come back the next time or he would be really disappointed in me. I really appreciated it at that time, because I really needed it. Just when everyone thought my heart was made of ice, he was the only one who knew how hard I was struggling.

He came back last year and recently, he told me that I don't have to act so strong all the time, just be myself. Well, the truth is, I have adapted so well to being alone that I no longer know how to be myself. Luckily for me, I have all the best friends in the world. I am also grateful that there is someone who can understand me so well. I can just let him decide anything or everything for me, and it would have been what I would have decided for myself. It is almost unbelievable.

I wake up everyday feeling happy. I go to bed with all smiles. Even when I was so busy with work, I would still smile thinking about all the stupid nonsense my friends had whatsapp-ed me. I would receive some random singing, goats meh-ing, people acting cute... Even when the day is going bad, it gets better. In fact, I can't remember when was the last time anything got bad.

If you asked me, I would say I want to remain like this for as long as I could. I do not want anything to change. I am blissfully grateful. Plus, I get to sit in front of the computer playing DotA2 every other weekend from morning til night and there is someone special to feed me like the fat ass I am. Bliss!