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Illegal Publication...

This story is published without permission...*sssh..

Y is a friends of mine. She dated K for about a year. I totally approve of K and feels that he is the best among her previous boyfriends. However, among them there exists a gap. Y loves freedom whereas K is the total opposite. K wants to be with Y all the time. Y feels like she was suffocating. And finally Y felt there was nothing she can do to close the gap and broke off with K. You see, K is from a broken family and has no successful future to look forward to. Y is all K has. Even after the break up K kept pestering Y for time and chance. To which, of course, only made Y felt more frustrated.

My hypothesis is this (starting from the beginning of the relationship) : Y and K has communication gap from the beginning of the relationship due to the difference of social and education level. K is obsessed with Y whereas Y needs her own space and privacy. K did not understand Y's needs and Y did not know how to explain to K. Soon, problems were left unsolved, everything kept piling up and argument became endless. Then, the relationship becomes a habit rather than a spontaneous,exciting love relationship (eg: breakfast,lunch and dinner together, then good night messages).

The problem with K is:-
1) he is too obsessed with Y (calling probably 10 times AN HOUR).
2) he did not understand that Y needs her own space regardless the number of times she told him.
3) he has a super low self-esteem
4) overprotective and has trust issues (calls Y a million times to make sure that she is not with someone else)

But K has good traits too which I think Y has overlooked (compared to her previous)
K literally supports her financially, making sure she has enough money for shopping and good food.
K does not hurt her and listens to most of her advice (orders) and he seriously is in love with her and treats her like a princess.

The problem with Y is:-
1) she did not realize that being in a relationships means she has to make sacrifices (time and freedom)-there is no possible way that she can have her single lifestyles hanging out with friends all the time.
2) not willing to sacrifice
3) was not able to see from K's point of view
4) forgotten how she was treated by her previous boyfriends. (1st, a useless sissy loser, 2nd a rich @$$ who gave her "a lot of freedom"-rarely cared about her)
But she REALLY was sincere with him. And wants him to improve. But does HE want to improve? Did she ask what he wanted? Does she understand his needs instead?

I really wanted to mend their relationship because what they had was real. Not rebound relationship or one-minute-fad. It was the problems they had made the sparks fade. Made their love fade(or her love fade). But until they realize this and solve it there is nothing else an outsider can do but provide a listening ear and a little point of view.

My point is, everyone has their own weaknesses, needs. Learn to see from the other point of view. Put yourself in their shoes. Learn to sacrifice even if YOU are the one who sacrificed more. And relationship will improve. That is IF, YOU TRULY LOVE SOMEBODY. may true love survive... gambateh for LOVE!

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